Chalet Couple | A Few Weeks In

So, a few weeks has passed since the last blog, a few sets of guests have come and gone and a shit ton of snow has been shovelled. And I mean a shit ton too. My back currently feels about as strong as a crack addict right now and I’m certain it could snap at any given moment. But hey, at least the guests are grateful right!?...

As for the skiing though, to be fair we have got a lot in. At least 3 or 4 hours every day, 5 days a week in the biggest skiable domain in the world! Well, that’s when the lifts were all open which they weren’t for a couple weeks and then this week its raining like fuck and windy as hell up the top, rendering the whole ski resort redundant and at a standstill.

And you know what that means…guests staying in all day fucking up your neatly laid table time and again, trampling through the chalet in their shoes and generally sulking like teenagers because they can’t get out to ski.

But, we did opt for the whole Three valleys lift pass, which, as soon as we saw our recent pay packet made us die a little inside. Our blog on chalet couple salary and pay here will explain a little more. Although, that not so ‘free’ ski lift pass was even less discounted that I anticipated so our company’s negotiator in chief needs a talking too. Pretty certain the lift company shat all over us and gave him a bottle of bubbly to sweeten the deal, cheers pal!

Then onto changover days ohhh what a bloody little bundle of joy they be. Try washing 16 sets of bed linen, towels and floor mats in one single domestic washing machine. That’s right, domestic. That’s means 7kg MAXIMUM capacity.

Why one you ask? Well, the other ones fucked. Tooted away with the washing machine gods. If we try to switch it on it floods everywhere, and its bang next to our bedroom which would just not bode well with our diminishing health (I promise to do another blog on staff living standards soon because fuck me, you’ll laugh at ours and others expense).

Anyway, one washing machine, one tumble dryer, plenty of floor space and stairs to hoover and mop, Jacuzzi water to change (the filters are minging by the way and I’d suggest you stay well away from them) and snow to clear (with only a hand shovel for good measure).

That’s among a million other jobs such as the food and baking prep/cooking, washing the fridges and ovens, cleaning out the fireplaces, going to get our shopping, sorting the stockroom and undertaking stocktake.

Oh, and finally, keeping on top of your minibar because guess what? If your guests don’t write down that they took something and pay for it, it comes out of your tiny pay packet. That’s right, little old you!

I feel like this is a big moan (but believe me it’s been shortened a hell of a lot...I could write so many anecdotes regarding our colleagues guests but I don’t want to just write about the shit. And by shit I mean literal shit. Turd. Poo. On toilet seats and floors etc – like how the fuck do grown men and women do that!?) sooo I’m going to brighten it up a little with positives:

  • Skiing

  • Colleagues

  • Day off

  • New Years Eve

  • SOME guests

There. Done. That’s your positives finished. Happy?

Nah, seriously when you’re on the mountain you get a fresh blast of energy. You feel alive and at complete ease. Yes, back in the chalet you feel like you’ve been high-fived in the face with a sledge hammer and it’s the longest slog of work you’ll ever do (I fucking hope so anyway!) but it truly is something else just cracking open a beer (brought with you of course because mountain prices are farcical) with your new found buddies and looking at the white topped mountains.

We’ve truly made friends for life already and there are perks with being seasonaires (cringe word) too; discounts, free shots, free ski lessons and free reign in your own time. Enjoy it and make the most of it.

I would say never say no to anything but have you ever tried cooking 14 peoples cooked breakfast at 7am after getting in at 4am after a night out?

I have.

And it ain’t fucking pretty, it ain’t big and it ain’t clever. I’m just glad no one was around for the impromptu chunderthon following service (sorry family! I am a disgusting excuse of a human being!). So, maybe saying no once in a while won’t do you too much harm!

Until the next time,

Chalet Couple x

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