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Chalet Couple|Half Term Week

Kids, children, little shits. Whatever word you use for them, they’re generally all the same. Between the ages of 0 and 5 they’re snotty, loud and egotistic human beings. 5 to 10 they are all that in addition to annoying, bugging little human being. Then from 10 to 16 they get a little less disgusting but certainly more rude, anti social and vain. Yep, we’ve just made it through the half term week(s). ‘Weeks’ because the French holidays split all through February and then the UK 2 weeks overlap at some point too meaning the slopes are absolutely jam packed with ski schools jumping the queues and snaking, 50 in a row, from one edge of the piste to the other. It’s poor etiquette to cut through the snake but fuck it, how else are you meant to get by? Anyway, the slopes are gradually quieting down now and the guests are back to full chalets of adults, thank god! No more 2 dinner sittings. No more 2 extra courses to prepare. No more (well, almost no more) dropped crumbs, cakes,crisps and biscuits. No more missed toilet seat shits!?!?!. No more sticky fingers on every shiny surface in the chalet and no more running around the chalet screaming their heads off, taking off items of clothing (voluntarily may I add!!) and putting it on their head thinking they are superman!! It really was hard work and of course you also have to manage the expectations of the parents towards their precious child. We work in a chalet with a set menu so they get what they’re given. “Oh but felicity doesn’t like cheese”, “Howard couldn’t possibly eat fish”, “our lovely Patricia who just turned 8 years old decided to turn vegan yesterday so please cater to that, thanks” *FACEPALM* It was literally like having a small class of children during dinner service. And of course the parents don’t supervise them. They’re too busy getting smashed in the hot tub! So you end up with a bucketload of food thrown on the floor, multiple spilt drinks and inevitable tears when either the games get mean, the ‘play fights’ get harder or the kid spots some cheese on top of his fish pie. Seriously, this kid had an absolute meltdown over this cheese, it was highly amusing. We were going to offer him some cheese fondue for the following day but felt he may have keeled over if we did! Amongst the explosions though there are periods of absolute silence. Silence because the electricity has blown due to 1000 devises being plugged in and charged at the same time off some makeshift multiple plug sockets. No worries about the fire hazards guys (and parents!), not like we are in a wooden building… So, some advice we can give you is that kids love ice cream. All day, everyday. In different forms it works a treat! Napoleon, banana split, ice cream Sunday, ice cream and meringue, ice cream and toffee sauce… We started to serve it at breakfast alongside their bacon butties too. But basically, the kids don’t (usually) care what they eat or how it looks and often the parents aren’t looking over, so if you have control of your menu, don’t make it fancy and literally throw the plates out. You’ve got far too much work to do to worry about too much about the little sunshine’s! Eventually you’ll start cutting corners everywhere but the children are an easy one to start with. Remember, you’re there to ski not be the worlds best chalet host.

And the freezer? The freezer is your new best friend! Chalet Couple x EDIT: we just welcomed in our new guests. You know, March, the start of spring, the end of the holidays, the last straight, the easy months. Well, we have a full house with 7 kids for fucks sake. 2 new borns too and the others being pulled from school. Cheers then! And they’re a fucking nightmare too, certain to feature in a future blog; vodkagate this time!!!

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