Dear Seasonaires...

Now, I like blogs. I like seasonaires, I like skiing, the mountains and all things that go with it. We made this blog because of the aforementioned loves. However, after reading a few recently, I’m getting fed up with the self-righteousness exuberated by many a seasonaire. It has become embarrassingly common.

By all means, make your blogs funny, show the real world of working in a snowy paradise but why oh why, does that make you so much better than the average Joe?

I’ve been reading blogs that explain why they are the god of winters gift and how any usual holiday making punter on the slopes should swiftly be castrated, escorted off the mountain and lift pass burned… especially if they, god-forbid, increase the queuing time for the lifts…oh fuck off mate.

If it wasn’t for those same holiday makers coming back year in year out, failing terribly on the slopes but giving it a go and booking out your chalet, drinking in your bar or sending their kids to your ski school or creche, you’d be shit out of luck in finding a job that enabled you to live among the mountain tops.

And another thing. The ‘enjoy your holiday mate, I live here’ argument I constantly hear is bollocks. You don’t live there. You sleep there. Damn you even still pay taxes in the UK (or; insert home country here) and therefore by law, your residence is in the UK (check out this blog on the ridiculousness of our pay and UK tax). A gap year does not constitute citizenship and you could at least bother to learn the language.

So give the punters a break. They want to enjoy it as much as you, and given time they may even become great skiers/boarders. But that’s very hard to do in their week-long stay that only affords them a few precious hours each day out there. But that doesn’t mean they can’t try to enjoy themselves. Try to improve. Try to get the best selfie. Try to video their mates. Because their time is short, you are here all season!

Do not get me wrong, I’ll slate guests. I will take the piss out of their antics and I will occasionally ridicule their decisions. But I’ll be fucked if I say they shouldn’t be on the slopes, or in my way. Believe it or not, they’ll make your time working in the mountains unbelievably hard and full of shits and giggles at the same time.

My biggest gripe with seasonaires though is this; taking the piss out of others clothing choices. This applies to turning their noses up to punters and other seasonaires alike.

I could not give a flying, sweeping upwards thunder fuck what you choose to wear. Not the biggest brand? Couldn’t care. Bright colours? Not bright colours? Boarding gear on a skier? Faux fur? Trespass gear? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO JUDGE!? ‘Twat gap’ between your goggles and helmet? You’re the one with brainfreeze, not me, do what you want!

What makes me laugh are those that ridicule others based on those prejudices, but are more than happy to hit the slopes in an ill-fitting, god awful ‘retro all-in-one’ ski suit they paid far too much money for online for that one day fancy dress ride out on the slopes…’yeah but that’s banter mate isn’t it’ (Just ordered mine by the way…).

My argument is this; Are you warm? Are you dry? Can you move freely? Are you protected? Have you got a piece(s) of wood attached to your feet with two clumpy as fook shoes on? Then these answers are all I care about. Why would I shun you or form a clique with others simply because you don’t fit my criteria to be ‘cool’? or didn’t spend a fortune on your gear? As long as you can answer yes to all of my questions above and you love getting blottoed in the pub, you can hang with me.

That said, I do have one exception though. Jeans. They seriously aren’t practical. Just don’t be that guy. All else goes though…

Chalet Couple x

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